You know how a lot of the time, twins are either together constantly or poles apart? That's how it worked with sitting sister legacies at my school. One of our sisters had a horrible relationship w/ her bio sister and we would have been more shocked if she HAD pledged us.

Old, but I went back to read...

Very timely. Several different opinions, all thoughtful, on legacies! Except when they veered off about cookies and political correctness!

I see just the opposite. Most collegians I know aren't thinking marriage and kids; they're thinking career and making a mark on the world. Maybe the newly married young alumnae have this great vision, but I just don't see it among women I know.

I cannot fathom even having bought my daughter clothes in sorority colors, or dressing her in anchors. The only immediate family member I have now who's a legacy doesn't get dressed in pink and green, and might not even know what sorority her oh-so-southern Alabama mother calls home. She didn't a couple of years ago anyway.

I think pushing our daughters toward our sorority is so far from letting them be who they are as to be laughable. Our dreams simply don't matter; theirs do.

From all the various legacy-policy and rec-policy threads, I think I'm in the minority her on GC, but I wouldn't bet on that being true throughout the alumnae world.

"Pushing" isn't how I would describe daughters growing up knowing of their mother's (or other relative's) sorority. Growing up, my children all had t-shirts with my alma mater on them. That didn't mean they weren't free to decide where to go to college, but they grew up knowing I loved my school, came with me on visits to campus, and thus they were more familiar with it than they otherwise would be. It's fairly common for parents to do that, and I don't think anyone regards it as sinister. I see parents who buy their children clothes and toys emblazoned with the parents' choice of professional sports team. It's about sharing something you love with your children, not forcing them to be exactly like you.

As for my sorority, I sang them sorority songs because while rocking colicky babies for literally hours on end, I went through my entire repertoire. It wasn't some sort of brainwashing. I took pictures of both of my daughters as babies in pledge ribbons on the off-chance they would pledge my sorority; I was lucky in that 1 of the 2 did, but it wasn't because it was my sorority. It was because it was right for her. Obviously, if you look at my signature, I was thrilled, as was my mother. It is undeniably special. But had she chosen a different group, I would have been 100 % behind her choice.