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-   -   So is imitation really the sincerest form of flattery? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=90347)

fantASTic 09-24-2007 11:48 PM
That's the thing; we don't GET a response. If we do, it's nothing but, "We'll call you back." They never do.

It IS frustrating, and I appreciate that you see that. I really am sincere about wanting to do something fun with such a great group of women.

AKA_Monet 09-24-2007 11:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fantASTic (Post 1527279)
That's the thing; we don't GET a response. If we do, it's nothing but, "We'll call you back." They never do.

It IS frustrating, and I appreciate that you see that. I really am sincere about wanting to do something fun with such a great group of women.
For your situation only:

Our undergraduate chapters are STRONLY supervised by an alumni chapter. There may be things that are going on that the undergraduate chapters must do to remain a chapter. Those are in our documents as to how Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. is governed.

If your chapter wishes to interact, your best bet is to speak to the grown adults--namely the Graduate Advisors and you organization will be required make a presentation as to what you all had in mind. Then, you all will have to expect there is a 4-6 month planning time if said event is huge...

12dn94dst 09-24-2007 11:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1527241)
We set our service calendars at the beginning of our program year, and trust they are full. And in most cases not conducive to adding anything later on that is not part of our focus for the sororal/fraternal year.
In other words: Poor planning on "your" part does not constitute an emergency on "our" part.

PrettyInPink777 09-25-2007 12:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fantASTic (Post 1527279)
That's the thing; we don't GET a response. If we do, it's nothing but, "We'll call you back." They never do.

It IS frustrating, and I appreciate that you see that. I really am sincere about wanting to do something fun with such a great group of women.
I hear you. My recommendation (not that you asked for it! :D) would be to have a sit-down. There may be a question about your intentions (stories can be made up on both sides!), especially if the invite is coming out of the pink without a foundational social context upon which you are building. That could be the answer -- the sorors in both organizations that have classes together (and know / like each other) could maybe take the lead on bridging the gap.

Programmatically, there may not be room for the BGLOs to work on issues external to their internal focuses .. and the HWGLOs may not be interested in working on the BGLO missions ....but there is always time to just get to know each other.

It may be as simple as a matter of 'trust'. Or you may find there is just no interest, but it's nothing personal. I wish you well in your endeavors : )

fantASTic 09-25-2007 12:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_Monet (Post 1527286)
For your situation only:

Our undergraduate chapters are STRONLY supervised by an alumni chapter. There may be things that are going on that the undergraduate chapters must do to remain a chapter. Those are in our documents as to how Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. is governed.

If your chapter wishes to interact, your best bet is to speak to the grown adults--namely the Graduate Advisors and you organization will be required make a presentation as to what you all had in mind. Then, you all will have to expect there is a 4-6 month planning time if said event is huge...
I think you misunderstand. What we wanted to do was something FUN. Like, for example, a simple social or mixer where we could do something fun, hang out, and get to know each other. I have no idea what such a thing may be; I'm not the social chair in my chapter, and that's not my responsibility. But I'm not talking about anything big.

PrettyinPink:

Your recommendation was welcomed! I think we will just have to go with it; if we just can't get a response, maybe that is just a sign that they are not interested. I would like to do something, but I'm not going to [nor can I] force them to show up.

KAPital PHINUst 09-25-2007 12:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fantASTic (Post 1527244)
Of course we are. When we have our Chapter of Excellence reports at our schools, they tell us, "Why don't you do things with minority GLOs?" They ask us, "Why is your chapter 90% white?" [I go to a school with [I'd guess] about 95% WASPs.] We are being constantly told that we need to do as much as possible with NPHC groups, and our status as affiliated members on our campus can be affected by this. Yet, despite the fact that we try, we cannot gain any ground.
Dang, you just gonna show us your "hole card" and what not. *lol*

There's (in part) your problem. From what you just posted, it appears that your desire to work and socialize with our orgs isn't genuine, nor are you taking the initiative to do so unless there is an external incentive(s). To NPHC org members, that comes off as insincere and condescending. Because oftentimes, once the mission is accomplished, the joint events and fellowships cease.

If you want to get to know us and work with our groups, it must be with a genuine desire and intent to know, understand, and accept what we're all about and why we do (and don't do) certain things that you might do the opposite of.

Don't patronize our orgs. Be sincere, but also be patient.

ladygreek 09-25-2007 12:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fantASTic (Post 1527303)
I think you misunderstand. What we wanted to do was something FUN. Like, for example, a simple social or mixer where we could do something fun, hang out, and get to know each other. I have no idea what such a thing may be; I'm not the social chair in my chapter, and that's not my responsibility. But I'm not talking about anything big.

PrettyinPink:

Your recommendation was welcomed! I think we will just have to go with it; if we just can't get a response, maybe that is just a sign that they are not interested. I would like to do something, but I'm not going to [nor can I] force them to show up.
Are the AKAs aware of the pressure you are getting from the school? If so maybe they question your sincerity. I agree that a sit-down heart-to-heart talk may be in order. Have your campus advisor talk to their campus advisor.

PrettyBoy 09-25-2007 12:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeezDiscreet (Post 1527173)
You don't have to do a damn thing and neither do we. I was never pressed to join in with the activities on campus because I thought they were silly (fight nights, foam parties, etc.)
You mean events like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkFVkDP1JxE:D

fantASTic 09-25-2007 12:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1527329)
Are the AKAs aware of the pressure you are getting from the school? If so maybe they question your sincerity. I agree that a sit-down heart-to-heart talk may be in order. Have your campus advisor talk to their campus advisor.
I have no idea. Perhaps that would be a good solution.

KAPital PHINUst 09-25-2007 12:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fantASTic (Post 1527303)
I think you misunderstand. What we wanted to do was something FUN. Like, for example, a simple social or mixer where we could do something fun, hang out, and get to know each other. I have no idea what such a thing may be; I'm not the social chair in my chapter, and that's not my responsibility. But I'm not talking about anything big.

PrettyinPink:

Your recommendation was welcomed! I think we will just have to go with it; if we just can't get a response, maybe that is just a sign that they are not interested. I would like to do something, but I'm not going to [nor can I] force them to show up.
Being the optimist, as another poster alluded to, it could be that there are some internal goings-on in the chapter that precludes them from socializing with you at this particular time that has nothing to do with you. At this juncture, unless you get evidence to the contrary, don't take it personal.

But don't give up either. Try again next semester.

Velocity_14 09-25-2007 12:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1527259)
Where have folx complained about NPC not cooperating with NPHC? Serious question.
I was just about to ask that same question...because I didn't see it...nor have I heard it....

1908Revelations 09-25-2007 12:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fantASTic (Post 1527063)
Why can't you join us in something that we do? Do we have to put in 90% of the effort? Because that's what it sounds like you're saying.
Like others have said we plan stuff far in advance. We (at my school) have been asked to participate with a couple of NPCs and IFCs, but with all of our internal stuff (corporate, regional, cluster) we can not budget any more time. If they do schedule something else I will not be able to attend due to having to so things for me, church, school, and AKA. Not every member will be at every event (for any org)so we have to take that into account too.

Hopefully you can plan for something in the spring semester. YOu may want to speak with the Graduate Advisor, President, and/or Vice President.



BTW this week is Iota Phi service week please see the Facebook group named 'AKA Service Week'....this is at UAB. We had a really great turnout for Meals on Wheels and I missed the Red Cross speaker due to class.

mccoyred 09-25-2007 05:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 12dn94dst (Post 1527213)
soror, we're ::here::

>>HERE<<

mccoyred 09-25-2007 05:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1527233)
But since the members of the chapter who attend the U of M (the majority) pay student fees, the chapter can function as if it was based at the U.
THIS is how it works. My chapter had members from 4 different schools during the time I was there (there are two other schools included in the charter as well that have contributed members at other times) and we held activities on all 4 campuses. I don't remember whether we had to register as individuals or as the org but we were able to do it.

AlphaFrog 09-25-2007 07:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9 (Post 1527175)
Flame if you like, but I'm cool with us being separate....I can't begin to say that I understand how or why things are done the way they are on that side and I'm sure thats some on the other side feel the same about my side..I didn't feel slighted in the least that NPC/IFC had their Greek Week at my school and that my chapter had our own Founder's Week....I didn't feel compelled to encourage my chapter members to participate in "Air Band" nor did I feel compelled to teach or help anyone step....its ok if we don't all hold hands and sing camp songs, really it is....ya'll do ya'll, we'll do us...it's ok...as long as everyone shows respect for everyone else, just go about your org's business.....my org focuses on addressing the issues in our community, if you don't share that community than you may have little interest in that focus...again, IT'S OK!!! I just honestly don't get why people get so bent out of shape about this topic...
Yep. Yep. Yep.
If you wanted to go to NPC events, you probably would have joined an NPC chapter...and an invitation to Greek-wide events would be a nice gesture, but it shouldn't come with expectations. The NPHC chapter should be able to just say "Thanks for the invite, but we'll pass this time".
I guess I just don't know, because on my campus, we had 8/9 of the NPHCs, but we were never pushed to do anything together.


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