Help

mmcline · #1 08-08-2002, 11:19 AM

I need help.. Ok to make a long story short my school has decided to get rid of my sorority hall and to move the 3 girls that were to live on the hall into 2 seperate suites, so we would still have singles but share a common room. Anyways, I went out with one of my sisters last night, and she announced that her and I would be living together in a suite. My problem is there is no way I can live with her due #1- she is extremely messy #2- there is a whole hygiene issue(she never shaves, only beileves she should shower twice a week and she walks around butt naked all the time) and #3 she announced her bf would be living with her( her bf is gross and i can't stand him). The 3rd girl would have a whole suite to herself since she is a rho-chi.. I mean I love my sisters, but should I really be forced to live with someone just b/c they are my sister.. How can i tell this sister that I am approaching the head of housing requesting another single, I don't want her to be mad or anything, but I would be miserable if I have to live with her. I mean if there are no other rooms, I will live at home. So what can I say to her?

thetakates · #2 08-08-2002, 11:26 AM

I am understanding that you were supposed to have a single room right? If that is the czse then just approach her and tell her that you do not sdo good with roommates and you are going to check with the housing director to see if anything else is available. That will sound mature and resp0onsible. I hope this helps.

SapphireSweetie · #3 08-08-2002, 11:26 AM

I've found the easiest way is to be simply honest with her (well you might want not to be THAT blunt). Simply say that you need your personal space, you have meticulous study habits, and that you are a very tidy person. You can even go out on a limb and say that you are difficult to live with. But the main point is that you have to tell her about your intentions to move, especially since she is your sister and you have to afford her that respect.

Hopefully it works out! Good luck!!
-Marie

KappaKittyCat · #4 08-08-2002, 12:14 PM

Sometimes two people just shouldn't live together. It's not a reflection of anything but contrasting personalities. My last year's roommate is a beautiful person, but we just could not get along because of her uncleanliness. We started out friends, but by the end of the year we couldn't even look at each other without an argument's ensuing. I'd suggest you go to your sister and explain that, because you two have such different habits, you think it would be the best for your friendship if you didn't share space. Make sure that you impress her with the idea that you're doing this just as much for her sake as for yours. For example, perhaps she and her boyfriend would like some more privacy than they'd have if you were hanging 'round all the time. Assure her that you love her very much, but remain firm. There might be a few strained feelings at first, but believe me, everything will wind up better in the long run.

Just an aside: Not shaving does not mean that a person has a lack of hygiene. Many women choose not to shave in the winter (or ever) for a wide variety of reasons. However, not bathing is inexcusable. It's a gross lack of hygiene that probably serves to augment the offending aesthetic of the hairy legs. IMHO, as long as the hairy legs are clean, there's no problem.

Rudey · #5 08-08-2002, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmcline
I need help.. Ok to make a long story short my school has decided to get rid of my sorority hall and to move the 3 girls that were to live on the hall into 2 seperate suites, so we would still have singles but share a common room. Anyways, I went out with one of my sisters last night, and she announced that her and I would be living together in a suite. My problem is there is no way I can live with her due #1- she is extremely messy #2- there is a whole hygiene issue(she never shaves, only beileves she should shower twice a week and she walks around butt naked all the time) and #3 she announced her bf would be living with her( her bf is gross and i can't stand him). The 3rd girl would have a whole suite to herself since she is a rho-chi.. I mean I love my sisters, but should I really be forced to live with someone just b/c they are my sister.. How can i tell this sister that I am approaching the head of housing requesting another single, I don't want her to be mad or anything, but I would be miserable if I have to live with her. I mean if there are no other rooms, I will live at home. So what can I say to her?

Such hefty life lessons you're being forced to learn here. I would advise honesty...perhaps even a bit of confidence. If you won't do it, ask our resident Wahine to do it. But be careful - sometimes she doesn't even share her pity with others.

-Rudey
--If you want it bad enough, you'll do it...you won't come on Greekchat looking for the support of people you never met and will never care much about.

Little E · #6 08-08-2002, 04:02 PM

My first semester i had this horrible roomate! It was my assigned roomate from ResLife. Anyhow, the girls started out shy and a little homely then she started showering once every few days, then once a week then once every two weeks it got soooo bad. My frieds wouldn't come in my room the stench was so nasty. I talked to my RA and they made me confront my roomie and that didn't work. (it was weird to tell someone that she smelled bad.) anyhow eventually she refused to change and i moved out. I was miserable for all that first semester and part of the second. It definatly was not worth the stres and drama.
My point mmcline is that sisterhood should also include comfort of your living environment. And your sister needs to respect that. Talk to the ResLife people see if anything can be arranged. and explain to her that you just don't think that your living habits will be able to co-mingle w/out affecting the sisterhood. Just keep things civil and between you two. Think of what AST stands for and apply it.

Tau Love!
Lil E
ps- good luck!

phisigsigchic · #7 08-08-2002, 04:13 PM

I think you should just tell her that you still want be friends and sisters and that living together usually means that won't keep happening. Even the best of friends, when put to live together, become the biggest of enemies. I had two friends and they were best friends all throughout college. One of them I was especially close to. So one day I am complaining about my freshman year roommate (i couldn't stand her but those were just personality clashes...she smelled fine and showered and shaved and was very neat). Anyway, he then told me about his sophomore year roommate how he made his life a living hell, etc. Anyway, one day I was like, who was your roommate, and he was like "oh it was paul." And I am like hes your best friend!! and he was like well yea I love the kid we just can't live together. And its totally true! Its one thing to be friends, even best friends, but its quite another thing to live together. Just explain all this to her and I am sure she will understand maybe even be wowed that you think so highly of your sisterhood and friendship

SATX*APhi · #8 08-08-2002, 05:25 PM

This past academic year I roomed with my two best friends from high school. By October Friend A and I were no longer speaking to Friend B. Friend B was never there, always had her area a royal mess AND showered once every couple of days. Friend A and I approached Friend B about the situation in a mature manner and she went ballistic saying that she just didn't have time to shower and that she can't believe we didn't understand. In February of this year Friend B and I started talking again, mostly because she moved out of the dorm we were sharing in December. We've been friends since 7th grade, so it was just a matter of time before we began talking again. Oh yeah, and she does shower on a regular basis now.

Because of how Friend B reacted, I would suggest that you not mention hygiene issues to your sister. I know that not everybody would react like that, but because Friend B and I did not talk for months because of it, I think it would be best to not mention hygiene to your sister. I say that you tell your sister that you think living together may be a problem, seeing as how you are a person who likes your living area a bit tidier than she does. You may also want to mention something about the BF moving in also, something about if you were to get another room, there would be more room for them both in the original suite.

You are in a difficult situation and I wish you the best of luck!

Off subject side not: Friend A and I stopped talking in December. It was so hard spring semester because not only were we living together and not talking, she is also one of my sisters. Living with friends can be difficult and I definitely do not recommend it. Some people can do it, but a good number can't.

Omicron · #9 08-08-2002, 05:29 PM

You are both paying the same amount so you should both be happy!

Of course, you could say if the bf is going to be there alot, he should share the expense!! (I assume he will be there "illegally"? You SHOULD NOT have to put up with that!!