Advice to pnms beginning their College/University experience…

[sceniczip]

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

4) Try not to have a boyfriend freshman year at all. Most freshman relationships I've seen have ended, and I've seen many people who come in with serious relationships become fulling wrapped up in their relationship. Its sad to see, because they don't get to experience freshman year as fully as they could. I didn't meet my current boyfriend until I was nearly done with freshman year, and I'm so glad of that, because I was well established with friends and activities on campus before he became a part of my life...he wasn't and isn't my whole life, but he is a very good part of it.

I had a boyfriend who went to another school my freshman year and still managed to be involved in other programs, including joining a sorority. I don't feel like I missed out on anything my freshman year and if I had to do it over I would do it exactly the same. However, I also think it depends on the person. I'm now a sophomore and we are still dating and are very serious. I'm also Director of Rituals for my sorority and I show horses competitively as well as maintaining a 3.8 GPA (I got my first B this semester and boy was I pissed! lol), so it is possible to be well rounded and still enjoy a serious relationship, but don't hold onto a boyfriend that wants you to spend all your time with him. My boyfriend and I are both involved in a few different organizations and we know that we can't spend all our time talking or driving to visit each other lol. However, don't listen to anyone who tells you to dump your boyfriend for your freshman year if you really are serious about him. I had different people tell me that including family members and I know I would have really regretted it. Despite popular belief you CAN enjoy freshman year while in a relationship I know a few people who started dating their boyfriend their freshman year (or earlier) and now a few years later they are either still together, engaged, or married. I also know some who did not work, in fact some were complete disasters, so take it on a case by case basis.

Now that I'm done with my marathon lol, my own personal pet peeve: I work at our school library both at circulation and in laptops. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO PRINT YOUR PAPER!!!!!! I can't even begin to tell you how many people come in to print something and the printer is down and their paper is due in like 10 minutes. Don't be nasty to the people who are trying to help you print your paper, yelling does not help.

If you are driving to campus, especially on a mainly commuter campus, leave plenty of time to find a parking space.

Get to know your professors if you can, I find that it's a lot easier to ask a professor that I've talked to before for help rather than one who doesn't know me from any other student. And in addition to that, don't wait until the day before the final to ask for help!

[GammaPhi88]

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

I should have reworded that to say: Don't let you freshman boyfriend (or any boyfriend!) take over your life. College is a very self-oriented time, and you'll need space to let yourself experience and grow. If a relationship is part of that, thats fine, but never let your boyfriend (or girlfriend!) limit your college experience.

Obviously, scenezip, you didn't read the post where I explained what I meant. And I never said to dump your boyfriend; I warned freshman PNMs not let a serious relationship to stop them from getting involved in college.

[sceniczip]

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

Obviously, scenezip, you didn't read the post where I explained what I meant. And I never said to dump your boyfriend; I warned freshman PNMs not let a serious relationship to stop them from getting involved in college.

I guess I misunderstood, where you were talking about casual dating I thought you meant that a freshman should not be involved in a serious relationship, my mistake and I apologize.

However, I did not say that you said you should dump your boyfriend, I said that I had people tell me that, as I mentioned it was a couple of family members that said that to me and I thankfully ignored their well-meaning advice. I also had other people say similar things to me so I was just including that as well. Sorry if it seemed like that was directed at something you said.

[GammaPhi88]

Originally Posted by sceniczip

I guess I misunderstood, where you were talking about casual dating I thought you meant that a freshman should not be involved in a serious relationship, my mistake and I apologize.

However, I did not say that you said you should dump your boyfriend, I said that I had people tell me that, as I mentioned it was a couple of family members that said that to me and I thankfully ignored their well-meaning advice. I also had other people say similar things to me so I was just including that as well. Sorry if it seemed like that was directed at something you said.

I'm sorry I misunderstood; its much clearer now, so thank you for explaining. By no means should someone dump a perfectly happy relationship just because they are going off to college...I only would wish that they find a life in college outside of their relationship. (Some people, like me, are incapable of that and need a life first before they fit a relationship into it. Others, like you, are far more well adjusted .

I agree with what you said about getting to know your professor, and I'd like to add to make sure your professor knows you in a good way. You want to be that student that the professor knows because she comes in and asks intelligent questions or tries hard for help when struggling. You don't want to be the student the professor knows because she always comes to the office with an excuse as to why she can't meet a deadline or complaint about a grade.

[sceniczip]

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

I'm sorry I misunderstood; its much clearer now, so thank you for explaining. By no means should someone dump a perfectly happy relationship just because they are going off to college...I only would wish that they find a life in college outside of their relationship. (Some people, like me, are incapable of that and need a life first before they fit a relationship into it. Others, like you, are far more well adjusted .

I agree with what you said about getting to know your professor, and I'd like to add to make sure your professor knows you in a good way. You want to be that student that the professor knows because she comes in and asks intelligent questions or tries hard for help when struggling. You don't want to be the student the professor knows because she always comes to the office with an excuse as to why she can't meet a deadline or complaint about a grade.

Lol sorry bout that, I'll make sure to clarify better next time I completely agree that it is very important to find a life outside of a relationship or else most people end up shoving their s/o other away by being too controlling and smothering, college is definitely a time to grow in your individual identity.

Good advice on the professor, going along with that make sure to volunteer in class to answer questions when the professor asks or participate in class discussions (if there are any). I'm kind of spoiled because I'm an English Ed major so most of my classes are small and we can have class discussions, where in big classes it's definitely harder. Some professors use class participation to determine grades and I know professors who have boosted grades before if the grade was borderline if the student participated a lot. It kind of goes along with attendance.

[33girl]

OK, I heard a rumor (tm Bananarama) that grain isn't available in a lot of states anymore, and if you DO buy it, you have to SIGN for it. Is this true?

[sunnyhibiscus]

- Keep track of the classes that you have taken and need to take. Know what classes are required for you to graduate. In fact, you may want to map out what classes you want to take for the future. I would say map out the next two to three semesters. But, be aware that some of the classes that you plan on taking for the particular semester may not be offered because it may be offered for only once a year. So write down one to two alternative course(s). Keep all of this info in a folder.

- Also, know what the prerequisites are for the courses. Some may require you to be a certain class standing before you can take the course. Some require you make a certain grade. Others you have to complete the early parts. The last thing you want is for to walk into class the first day and find out you didn't meet the requirements. Then, you have to drop the course and scramble to find course(s) to take.

- It is very helpful to have a undergraduate catalog. There, you can read the description of the course and the possible requirements. In addition, you can find some useful information.

[sceniczip]

Originally Posted by sunnyhibiscus

- Keep track of the classes that you have taken and need to take. Know what classes are required for you to graduate. In fact, you may want to map out what classes you want to take for the future. I would say map out the next two to three semesters. But, be aware that some of the classes that you plan on taking for the particular semester may not be offered because it may be offered for only once a year. So write down one to two alternative course(s). Keep all of this info in a folder.

- Also, know what the prerequisites are for the courses. Some may require you to be a certain class standing before you can take the course. Some require you make a certain grade. Others you have to complete the early parts. The last thing you want is for to walk into class the first day and find out you didn't meet the requirements. Then, you have to drop the course and scramble to find course(s) to take.

- It is very helpful to have a undergraduate catalog. There, you can read the description of the course and the possible requirements. In addition, you can find some useful information.

Also, don't forget to use your advisers! Mine have been so helpful and they are really good at helping you map out your courses, especially in terms of ones that are only offered once a year, as sunny said.

[annabella]

Originally Posted by 33girl

OK, I heard a rumor (tm Bananarama) that grain isn't available in a lot of states anymore, and if you DO buy it, you have to SIGN for it. Is this true?

wait do you mean grain alcohol? I bought some Everclear the other day for a house party, and I didn't even get carded.... the perk of school being located in the middle of Missouri?

On the other hand, last time I tried to buy white out at Wal-Mart I got carded. I had left my license in the car and the cashier wouldn't let me buy it. Because I didn't look 18 and was clearly going out to the parking lot to inhale half of it, and then make meth with the rest.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by annabella

On the other hand, last time I tried to buy white out at Wal-Mart I got carded. I had left my license in the car and the cashier wouldn't let me buy it. Because I didn't look 18 and was clearly going out to the parking lot to inhale half of it, and then make meth with the rest.

OMG, I got carded at WalMart trying to buy spraypaint once. I also could only buy like 2 cans at a time (for the same reasons I'm sure).

[annabella]

Seriously, it's ridiculous how many "harmful" things you can buy at your local Walmecca. I'm "young" for my grade, and I'll never forget the time my parents went out of town my senior year of high school, and I had to recruit a random patron to buy sudafed for me because I was still 17

[GammaPhi88]

I had that same problem with cough syrup. I got carded, could only buy one...must not have mattered to the clerk that I was coughing all over the place.

And 33girl, I haven't heard anything about that. I don't drink the jungle juice, so I've got no idea weather its available or not.

[libramunoz]

I know this might sound crazy, but get to know these people: The college president, the VP's of the college, the director of housing, the director of maintenance, the maintenance guys/gals, the student activities director, and the dean of men/women, and most importantly, the financial aid director (if you have need of one).
I say this because I got to know all of the people at my school. Of course, my college was a very small college located in Alabama, but it really helped me in the end.
When I was needing monies to get back to school, I wrote the a letter to the president of the college. Of course, he had a policy that if you ever needed him, to contact him. Well I was at home in TX, and they raised the school tuition, and I was a junior. All of my stuff was in AL and I needed to help. My Mom had just gotten back to work (after 2 years and with 2 kids in college) and I didn't know what to do. I wrote him, he called me at home, we talked and I ended up with a scholarship for my senior year that paid for me to go back home.
The VP's, I got to know all of them and one even ended up becoming my independent study teacher. They got to know me and helped me in many ways.
The director of housing, well, we are still friends to this day! After I crossed, she got me the second Elephant and I was pleased as punch! Anyways, getting to know her helped me in being able to get the "best" rooms that were available on campus. And it also helped me in getting away from a "rogue" for lack of a better word roomate my freshman year (that girl---ooo wee, I could tell the stories of THAT chick!)
The director of maintenance and maintenance guys/women--anything that you need, they will be able to help you. Room too hot/cold, toilet overflowing, trash--ect. They will be able to help you. Always be kind to them and speak to them.
Activities Director/Dean of Men/Women--pretty self-explainatory. They help you in different ways and they are usually good/cool people to know.
The Financial Aid director--man oh man these folks help you in many ways. If you are on financial aid, they try to work with you and they try to help you in being able to stay in school.
Be willing to help your friends/roomies/folks you don't know a variety of school based activities. I remember for all 4 years that I was there, I helped in building the set for the college queen's coronation. It was a fun experience.
Build your own business. If you have a skill at sewing, drawing, sketching, doing hair/makeup/nails, ect, let folks know of your talents and let them know your prices. I had a business on campus called "Everything Is Cheap Here." I charged for the price of materials and time--never more than 5 percent of what I put into getting the materials. If they brought their own, I charged less. It wasn't a whole lotta money, but it was enough to keep me in top ramen and soup and pepsi for the whole 4 years.
Keep a calling card. I know this is the day of cell phones, however, a calling card is always handy, esp. when you haven't got the money/time on your cell phone and you wanna call home.
I know snail mail is slow, but every now and then, write--yes--WRITE a letter home to your parents, your brothers/sisters, and your GRANDPARENTS and your baby cousins! They will actually be thrilled to hear from you!
Keep $20 in your purse/backpack/wallet for cab fare!
If you go out with a male/female, and you are getting uncomfortable--get away ASAP! And yes, males can be raped by females or males too!
Always keep a flashlight on you! If you're going to the lib or wherever, and it's poorly lit, make sure that you can get where light is and call campus police/a friend and let them know that you are the one waving the flashlight so that they can see you.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER do drugs in your dorm--9 times outta 10, you are going to be kicked out of the institution.
If you have a roommate that steals your stuff--invest in a good lock and keep the key! (I know, I had a roommate that did this)
Attend and join a local church. I say this because they will become your family while you are there and your family isn't. Mine was 768 miles away and my church became my family away from my family.
Just my few cents worth.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by libramunoz

Just my few cents worth.

Just a few, eh?

[libramunoz]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Just a few, eh?

LMAO--Doc you almost had me spilling my coffee on myself laughing so hard! ROTFTIP!