question for the non-virgin ladies - Page 6

alphaxidelta12 · #76 11-23-2001, 05:48 PM

well you guys...i am glad this thread took off the way it did and hope yall enjoy reading what everyone says. i can tell you i lmao every time i read a new post!!! yall are crazy!!!

James · #77 11-23-2001, 08:32 PM

Actually . . . and this has no reference to AlphaSigLana specifically cause I don't know her deal . . .

They say that not liking the thought of oral sex is usually more a female thing and has to do with a certain degree of either uncomfyness with her body or sexuality. Some people are also uncomfy with the idea of how body odor can be perceived.

I actually have issues with dating girls . . . that have issues over sex. That can cause way too many future problems. I have friends that have told me that 10 years down the line, that certain amusing uptightness a girl had over sexual expression, or weight phobias or whatever, became serious, serioius, stumbling blocks later in life. Sometimes leading to unhappiness, sometimes to divorce, and many times too a diminished sex life. This especially happens after that first flush of infatuation, marriage flush, or just that total desire to please fades because of long term familiarity.

So again this doesn't apply to AlphaSigLana (thank you sweetie for brining up a reference point for discussion), I would never recomend a friend marry or commit to a women that has unresolved issues that affect her ability to enjoy sexual relations, its symptomatic of too many problems.

Quote:

Originally posted by justamom
Freud said, "A woman is like a violin, it takes a great musician to play her well."

AlphaSigLana, I too feel that the act is far more intimate than merely inserting one body part into another. For many women, it takes a certain degree of trust and love that isn't found in the early stages of dating. There also is a difference between a man doing it TO you as compared to a man doing it FOR you. Don't give it a second thought. When you have complete trust in your partner you may see it in a different light. If you don't, no biggie. If there is love, he will understand you and help you face your inhibitions with tenderness. There are many roads that arrive at the same destination. The key is to explore the scenery and enjoy the journey.

AlphaSigLana · #78 11-23-2001, 09:39 PM

James,
I understand what you are saying and i agree completely. i am a sexual person believe me. I need trust and complete commitment before Iwill allow a guy to go down on me. Plus I thought guys didn't like to do this!

PKTSU01 · #79 11-23-2001, 09:42 PM

. Plus I thought guys didn't like to do this!

That's true ..some guys can't stand to. But, there's something about watching the expressions, body movements of a girl, and the occasional whimper that gives a guy a definite feeling of satisfaction, even if he isn't getting anything done to him at all. It says something when a girl can lose complete control with you like that, its...well, pretty awesome.

ErikaXO · #80 11-23-2001, 11:18 PM

Ok first of all SH80er, every woman is different in what she likes. I like it to start out gently and slowly and build up to a frenzy, but then when he gets me there he's gotta go slow and gently again so I can ride it out.

Did I just write that?????My God.....I have no shame anymore....

Secondly, as to the whole loss of virginity thing.....being with someone you love is so much better. I lost it to someone I was crazy about but was not in a relationship with. I ended up feeling pretty used. And we could have had so much more fun if we HAD been in a relationship. I was kind of crazy after that, it was like "well I did it so I may as well keep doing it." But then with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years it was different. After that, I realized that I wasn't just going to give myself to ANYone. There was only one other after that until I started dating my husband. And he was my real awakening.

The hottest time my husband and I ever had was that week when things started moving from just kissing to going all the way. I can remember vividly those make-out sessions, tentative yet passionate, growing a little more intense each time. And there was always the tantalizing promise of what was going to happen the next time. That is the period to savor. I mean, it's great once you are in a full-scale sexual relationship but I am telling you, that buildup period is unbelievable.

By the way guys, once you and the girl have said the L word, you no longer need to use reverse psychology on her or try to pretend you aren't interested in sex just to impress her. If it is obviously serious between the two of you and you are dying to do it to her, if she gives you the green light just go for it!!!! The night I finally had sex with Brent he was busy (ahem) elsewhere and I grabbed him by the ears and pulled him up to my face and growled "Brent, I want you to f%$& me right now!" I expected him to pounce immediately and keep the momentum rolling. Uh, no. He says, "Well, maybe we should TALK about this....." Oh my God!!!! Then I'm like, "He doesn't want to have sex with me...." Of course, after we "talked about it" we went at it like crazy but I have to say hearing the "I don't want any regrets tomorrow morning" chat from a guy who is supposed to be crazy about you kiind of takes the bloom off the rose. Later he confessed that he was going out of his mind wanting to but he felt he had to give me the little "talk" treatment so I'd know he loved me and respected me and would WANT to do it with him. (Duh....if I hadn't wanted to I wouldn't have grabbed you by the ears!!!!)
Men!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ErikaXO · #81 11-23-2001, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PKTSU01
. Plus I thought guys didn't like to do this!

That's true ..some guys can't stand to. But, there's something about watching the expressions, body movements of a girl, and the occasional whimper that gives a guy a definite feeling of satisfaction, even if he isn't getting anything done to him at all. It says something when a girl can lose complete control with you like that, its...well, pretty awesome.

By the way, I must add that this is sooooo right. This is the God's honest truth.....when Brent does this to me and he gets me there, sometimes if I really let go and writhe and moan he actually, uh, how can I put this delicately......he makes a wet spot on the bed!!!!! I swear to God it's true....he is the only man I have ever met who could come just from making a woman come.

aggieAXO · #82 11-24-2001, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ErikaXO
Ok first of all SH80er, every woman is different in what she likes. I like it to start out gently and slowly and build up to a frenzy, but then when he gets me there he's gotta go slow and gently again so I can ride it out.

Did I just write that?????My God.....I have no shame anymore....

Secondly, as to the whole loss of virginity thing.....being with someone you love is so much better. I lost it to someone I was crazy about but was not in a relationship with. I ended up feeling pretty used. And we could have had so much more fun if we HAD been in a relationship. I was kind of crazy after that, it was like "well I did it so I may as well keep doing it." But then with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years it was different. After that, I realized that I wasn't just going to give myself to ANYone. There was only one other after that until I started dating my husband. And he was my real awakening.

The hottest time my husband and I ever had was that week when things started moving from just kissing to going all the way. I can remember vividly those make-out sessions, tentative yet passionate, growing a little more intense each time. And there was always the tantalizing promise of what was going to happen the next time. That is the period to savor. I mean, it's great once you are in a full-scale sexual relationship but I am telling you, that buildup period is unbelievable.

By the way guys, once you and the girl have said the L word, you no longer need to use reverse psychology on her or try to pretend you aren't interested in sex just to impress her. If it is obviously serious between the two of you and you are dying to do it to her, if she gives you the green light just go for it!!!! The night I finally had sex with Brent he was busy (ahem) elsewhere and I grabbed him by the ears and pulled him up to my face and growled "Brent, I want you to f%$& me right now!" I expected him to pounce immediately and keep the momentum rolling. Uh, no. He says, "Well, maybe we should TALK about this....." Oh my God!!!! Then I'm like, "He doesn't want to have sex with me...." Of course, after we "talked about it" we went at it like crazy but I have to say hearing the "I don't want any regrets tomorrow morning" chat from a guy who is supposed to be crazy about you kiind of takes the bloom off the rose. Later he confessed that he was going out of his mind wanting to but he felt he had to give me the little "talk" treatment so I'd know he loved me and respected me and would WANT to do it with him. (Duh....if I hadn't wanted to I wouldn't have grabbed you by the ears!!!!)
Men!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are so rt. about the relationship thing-it is soooooo much better and I think more fun. BTW reading this thread is making me rowled up and damit I am at work and even then I have no boyfriend -dang it

James · #83 11-24-2001, 01:11 AM

Happy Hour Sweetie, that is why God Gave us Happy Hours . .

Quote:

Originally posted by aggieAXO

you are so rt. about the relationship thing-it is soooooo much better and I think more fun. BTW reading this thread is making me rowled up and damit I am at work and even then I have no boyfriend -dang it

aggieAXO · #84 11-24-2001, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Happy Hour Sweetie, that is why God Gave us Happy Hours . .

been there done that

justamom · #85 11-24-2001, 09:56 AM

I must agree with Ericka-that period of "anticipation" is a time that compares to no other.

Ladies, all I can say is, after 10 years of dating(off and on) and 21 years of marriage to the same man, it only gets better-IF there is love, trust and commitment. The most difficult time is when the babies need you at all hours and exhaustion sets in. If you have a man who is understanding, it all falls into place somehow. Actually, it's almost like reverting back to the begining when spontaneity and creativity kick back in, not to mention the re-emergence of anticipation.

When we look at each other we don't "see" what others see.
I'm still 27 and he's 28. I'm "the girl with those great legs" and he's the "sexy, Southern, bad boy" who made my heart race and tied my stomach in knots. This is the real prize and sad to say, jumping in and out of bed with numerous "aquaintances", living for the pleasure of the moment, can blind you to what we ALL are hoping for in the end-to NOT be alone. This is not a condemnation af sexual liberation, it is merley a point to consider.
It's hard enough to find the right one. Here's a twist on a common analogy. When shopping, you don't pull out a sweater and buy it, you lok it over-see if it's shop worn-is it an irregular-WHAT WILLTHIS COST ME-all these things before you even try it on... Sometimes it's a very pretty sweater and it's on sale! You are very tempted-some WILL try it on, others will keep looking and a few will buy it because it's there and it's cheap. Who will be the happiest? I think the one who keeps looking until thy find what they really want. Too bad for the ones who bought the first sweater they saw. There was a "perfect" one on the next isle...they didn't take the time to find it.

AlphaSigLana · #86 11-24-2001, 01:17 PM

again justamom speaks so well and right on the nail!

AlphaChiGirl · #87 11-24-2001, 02:19 PM

All this talk makes me miss my boy...who I just saw yesterday. Oh well...

Anyway, I really think it's best to wait until you've found that right person. I've found that the sentiment, at least to my college friends, sounds really conservative, but they often end up regretting their adventures. When you know, you KNOW.

Moving on "downtown"...I love it.

Some people don't...it may be due to discomfort with sexuality, etc., or it could be that it just doesn't do anything for them. I used to be the latter. Something happened, I don't know what, but now I could seriously have it every day. I'm glad because I'm with someone who is even more enthusiastic about it than I am!

Oh yeah, the subject line. You know, I really don't know. I just don't know. I think it definitely has to do with the size of the lady. But, maybe I'm wrong.

HeidiHo · #88 11-24-2001, 03:26 PM

I was just enjoying reading this thread, but I have to jump in.

I'm down with "oral communications", but the thing about being comfy with letting a guy go down there got me thinkin'. I've found that I'm more relaxed if I've been keeping up on my bikini waxes. I'm pretty sure it's all in my head, but if I'm more tidy below the belt then I don't worry about all the things that could be wrong. Has anyone else felt te same way?

Since we've already gone this far, guys do you have a preference of a girl's bikini line? Would you freak out if a girl you were getting with had a brazilian wax (almost no hair, except a "landing strip" down the center) or would you just think she's well kept?

Heidi

ErikaXO · #89 11-24-2001, 04:06 PM

Heidi, I have been obsessed with keeping things "well-groomed" since I was 15!!!! My man actually prefers it all gone, so that is what I have been doing. But he doesn't mind a nicely designed landing strip either. I think if your drapes totally don't match the carpet it is a good idea to remove it, you see these chicks in Playboy with the bleached platinum pubes and it's like "get a life!!!"

I would like to mention something that is possibly controversial. I agree as usual with most of what Mom said, but I would like to make a case for experiementing A LITTLE before marriage. Ideally, the person you marry is the person you will be with, faithfully (unless you work that out amongst yourselves) forever. Sexual compatibility is a MUST. You need a chance to discover what you like and you need a chance to find out if he is a good fit (no pun intended.) I thank my lucky stars every day that Brent has yet to find any of my fantasies or preferences to be odd or disgusting or wrong. And I am eternally grateful that he never ceases to amaze (and excite) me with his own. And you don't have to actually do THE DEED to find all this out....you can do everything else and still have a pretty good idea. Watching shows like "Real Sex" or "Taxicab Confessions" togrether is a great way to kind of feel each other out (again no pun intended) as to what is intriguingly kinky and what is appalling. I mean, if someone told you you had to eat chicken every night for the rest of your life, how would you react? Well, if it was a plain broiled chicken breast day after day, you'd rebel pretty quickly. On the other hand, if you could have the chicken fried, or baked, or cut up and tossed with pasta, or in parmigiana, or whatever pleased you, you'd be a lot more likely to keep enjoying the chicken. (Where do I come up with this crap?) But you get the idea.

Miami1839 · #90 11-24-2001, 04:07 PM

Heidi,

It doesnt matter to me really. I'd probably prefer less rather than more. Its what makes her comfortable is whats good with me.

Kevin

Quote:

Originally posted by HeidiHo
I was just enjoying reading this thread, but I have to jump in.

I'm down with "oral communications", but the thing about being comfy with letting a guy go down there got me thinkin'. I've found that I'm more relaxed if I've been keeping up on my bikini waxes. I'm pretty sure it's all in my head, but if I'm more tidy below the belt then I don't worry about all the things that could be wrong. Has anyone else felt te same way?

Since we've already gone this far, guys do you have a preference of a girl's bikini line? Would you freak out if a girl you were getting with had a brazilian wax (almost no hair, except a "landing strip" down the center) or would you just think she's well kept?

Heidi