Your "Blackness" Questioned?????

Honeykiss1974 · #1 02-04-2002, 02:03 PM

Has anyone ever had their "blackness" questioned because you happend to have a particular stance on certain issues (i.e. Democrat vs. Republican) or maybe because of your profession or the neighborhood that you reside in. Today, I had a discussion with an old high school chum and she proceed to tell me that I have changed and become one of "them"now.

I asked her how and she stated that since I moved to the "upscale" part of town and got my new job, I've been talking and flinging my hair back like some white girl, forgetting where I came from. She then proceed to tell me that because of "sell-outs" such as myself, this is why black folks will never be unified and excel. After a silent prayer (because I felt like beating that itch down with a bat!

) I explained to her that my "blackness" is not defined by the small limited scope of her mind. I suggested that once she ventures out into the world she will find that all black people do not fit into a steretyupical mold that she has been taught to believe. The nerve of that heifer!

Anyway, has anyone else haas their "blackness" questioned and if so, how did you handle it?

fatto · #2 02-04-2002, 02:21 PM

It is people like the one you describe that provide the fuel for me to keep going. I have a more vocal way of handling mine though, I slowly turn their way, lift my head and tell them to F*CK OFF!!!

#1 Leading Lady · #3 02-04-2002, 03:09 PM

I politely tell them there is a time and place for everything. It is NOT called selling-out it is called PROFESSIONALISM (SP) and maybe they should try it.

lovelyivy84 · #4 02-04-2002, 03:10 PM

I've gotten that. I usually ask them what exactly they think acting black means. If it has anything to do with physical or economic characteristics I can quickly point out numerous examples of black people who are anything but the stereotype, and generally tell the person that they should think about why they are willing to limit themselves and others so severely.

It's more amusing then anything to me, because it's just their ignorance. Not even worth getting mad about.

NOWorNEVER · #5 02-04-2002, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
Has anyone ever had their "blackness" questioned because you happend to have a particular stance on certain issues (i.e. Democrat vs. Republican) or maybe because of your profession or the neighborhood that you reside in. Today, I had a discussion with an old high school chum and she proceed to tell me that I have changed and become one of "them"now. I asked her how and she stated that since I moved to the "upscale" part of town and got my new job, I've been talking and flinging my hair back like some white girl, forgetting where I came from. She then proceed to tell me that because of "sell-outs" such as myself, this is why black folks will never be unified and excel. After a silent prayer (because I felt like beating that itch down with a bat! ) I explained to her that my "blackness" is not defined by the small limited scope of her mind. I suggested that once she ventures out into the world she will find that all black people do not fit into a steretyupical mold that she has been taught to believe. The nerve of that heifer! Anyway, has anyone else haas their "blackness" questioned and if so, how did you handle it?

Oh Lord, the nerve of some people. Honeykiss, it sounds like this character was sippin' on some "hater-aid"

! I too have had my "blackness" questioned by some of the music I choose to listen too and who I keep in my circle of friends. Those people who feel as though Blacks should only have certain people as friends, live in certain parts of town, and have certain jobs are limited in their thinking and need to explore new areas in life.
In my particular situation, the people who make those type of comments decided to stay home, find fast food jobs, and make babies. Everyone has choices and you made the choice to be the best you can be and have the things you want. Don't let HATERS

like that discourage you or hender you from going for what you've earned.

NOWorNEVER · #6 02-04-2002, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by #1 Leading Lady
I politely tell them there is a time and place for everything. It is called selling-out it is called PROFESSIONALISM (SP) and maybe they should try it.

EXACTLY

ClassyLady · #7 02-04-2002, 05:58 PM

Honeykiss, I can feel your pain.

My high school was not known for its black achievers. Most of the black students never actually graduated. They either transferred to a better school or just dropped out. I was among the two or three who graduated, received college scholarships, and did well at the university level.

When I came back after my freshman year at school, I got a very good internship with a major financial services firm. I was no longer interested in hanging out on the street corner and getting drunk. Because I actually had some idea of what I wanted to do with my life, I got talked about. People said that I thought I was better than everybody, and I forgot where I had come from, and yada yada yada.

Whatever! Being black is not defined by fitting into a mold. Black people are some of the most diverse people on the face of the earth. We are diverse in our culture, our appearance, our mindset, and our achievements. Instead of accepting and appreciating these differences, some black people would rather use them as a means of division between us.

Steeltrap · #8 02-04-2002, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NOWorNEVER

Oh Lord, the nerve of some people. Honeykiss, it sounds like this character was sippin' on some "hater-aid" ! I too have had my "blackness" questioned by some of the music I choose to listen too and who I keep in my circle of friends. Those people who feel as though Blacks should only have certain people as friends, live in certain parts of town, and have certain jobs are limited in their thinking and need to explore new areas in life.
In my particular situation, the people who make those type of coments decided to stay home, find fast food jobs, and make babies.

Excellent points. I've had the same thing happen to me for a long time, because I'm in my late 30s.

Just the other day, some eejit who apparently went to school with me -- I didn't recognize him --said, "Shut up, ST -- your name is ST, ennit?" when I screamed at a woman who was parked illegally in a handicapped space.

I'm not making nice to those who drink 40-ouncers and loiter on the corner. I made my choice back in high school -- concentrate on becoming educated and keep my legs closed. Today, because I followed that plan, I've got a degree and can meet my basic needs. I'm not particularly affluent by SoCal standards, but I dress and act like it.

Jody · #9 02-04-2002, 06:51 PM

I have been struggling with a snappy comeback for a long time, I think that the next time someone comes at me like that I'm going to remind them that I am a descendant of slaves and my ancestors didn't suffer unspeakable horrors for me not to be a contributing member of society.

Demon Knight · #10 02-04-2002, 07:43 PM

I dont know if this post was just for the ladies, but I have had a run in with this sort of thing constantly, especially since I joined a predominantly white Fraternity. It's hard to deal with at times, but to me its funny. The same people who sit there and criticize me don't grow up and do anything with there life. I had to tell people you can judge me by my organization all you want, but you are the iqnorant one still in HighSchool

Fraternally,
D

tickledpink · #11 02-04-2002, 08:38 PM

Sometimes I hate that term. Sometimes it fits the bill, but other times it's an excuse for ignorance.

I've had this happen before. Someone kept "joking" that I talked like a white person & that I ate like a white person.

How did I handle it? I put them on the spot. I asked them to explain how it was I was "talking" and "eating". When they tried to immitate me, I cut them off with, "So, you're saying that all black people can't enunciate their words and that all black people eat like savages, like we have no home training? Do you realize that's the same thing racists say?"

Shut 'em right up.

Like someone previously said, there's a time and a place for everything, or.... err thang!

CrimsonTide4 · #12 02-04-2002, 09:49 PM

Oddly enough this is the very topic on Girlfriends tonight and how white people try to act Black.

Lynn's sister was on here, full white, accused Joan of not being Black enough.

Did y'all see Waldo from Family Matters as Peaches the hairdresser with DREADS!!

Sugar_N_Spice · #13 02-04-2002, 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Steeltrap

Excellent points. I've had the same thing happen to me for a long time, because I'm in my late 30s.

Just the other day, some eejit who apparently went to school with me -- I didn't recognize him --said, "Shut up, ST -- your name is ST, ennit?" when I screamed at a woman who was parked illegally in a handicapped space.

I'm not making nice to those who drink 40-ouncers and loiter on the corner. I made my choice back in high school -- concentrate on becoming educated and keep my legs closed. Today, because I followed that plan, I've got a degree and can meet my basic needs. I'm not particularly affluent by SoCal standards, but I dress and act like it.

You took the words RIGHT out of my mouth (except that I'm only 20yrs old)...I always get told that I "talk like a white girl"--whatever that is supposed to mean exactly.

Growing up I was always teased b/c I spoke correct English, did not frolic around with the guys around the hood, and maintained good grades while being extremely pretty at the same time!!! Plain and simple...while they're using all their energy talking about me, I am spending my energy studying hard so I can achieve all my dreams...

I've figured out that people are just HATERS!!!!!

NinjaPoodle · #14 02-05-2002, 02:07 AM

I have had many experiences relating to this topic. What I find that works is silence. What it boils down to is, as long as you are true to yourself, you will come to realize it really doesn't matter what other people think.

Honeykiss1974 · #15 02-05-2002, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by tickledpink
Someone kept "joking" that I talked like a white person & that I ate like a white person. :rolleyes

Smack that person with a stupid stick

because how on earth can one EAT like a white person? I might need a visual on that one!