My not-so-perfect rush story

[UGAalum94]

No. Affiliates aren't considered for the numbers stuff at all, as far as I know, so it's not even that they "count" against you numerically.

I find this weird too; I'd like to think if you are good enough for the national organization, you're good enough to affiliate (if you are member in good standing and are of good character), but I can remember discussing in another thread that groups have really different policies from group to group and from chapter to chapter.

One chapter of one GLO that we talked about won't take any affiliates at all.

[MaggieXi]

We had an AZD who transferred to Elon from another chapter and she blantantly told us that part of the reason she had transferred was because she hated her sorority and didn't want to have anything to do with us. We tried to get her to come to some events and at least give our chapter a try and she absolutely refused.

Later, we had a sister go to a conference and met a sister from the girl's initiation chapter and they had no idea that she hated the chapter because she had been very involved and they couldn't think of a reason for any falling out.

It was a little strange. Just thought I would share.

[AU_ZTA86]

I haven't read the affiliation thread mentioned above but the entire topic can get very UGLY very quickly so it's best to be avoided. LoveinZTAs story is fine though b/c it's her experience, not a general statement.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

And it's also good to remember that it should be your job to make others feel welcome, not their job to infiltrate your group.

amen, panhellenic sister! we should all remember this, whether a collegian or alumna.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by tld221

WOW that's crazy! could they really not vote someone into the chapter? I can't see sisters/sorors NOT wanting to vote a fellow member in!

Yes, and it happens frequently. A woman who fit into a chapter of XYZ at one school may have been an ABC if she'd rushed at another school.

And if it was generally accepted that you could join at one school and auto-transfer your membership just by enrolling in another, you would have tons of women joining at one school so they could be a member at a more competitive chapter elsewhere-- thus changing the dynamic of said competitive chapter and making the original chapter a revolving door with zero consistency.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Yes, and it happens frequently. A woman who fit into a chapter of XYZ at one school may have been an ABC if she'd rushed at another school.

And if it was generally accepted that you could join at one school and auto-transfer your membership just by enrolling in another, you would have tons of women joining at one school so they could be a member at a more competitive chapter elsewhere-- thus changing the dynamic of said competitive chapter and making the original chapter a revolving door with zero consistency.

of all the transfers that happen from school A to B each year, there are a smaller subset of women who are sorority members, and an even smaller set of those who would want to affiliate. i cant imagine that year to year, chapter A would get SO many transfers from schools B, C, and D that it would change the "chapter dynamic" each year. after all, recruitment happens every year, thus changing the dynamic as people graduate out and are initiated in.

[FSUZeta]

[QUOTE=tld221;1492062] i cant imagine that year to year, chapter A would get SO many transfers from schools B, C, and D that it would change the "chapter dynamic" each year. QUOTE]

but it truly can. i have heard of women who wanted the prestige of being in ghi sorority because that sorority had great chapters in that particular state. savvy pnms who know that recruitment at the state universities is ultra competitive, and the ghi chapters are hard to get into, will go to schools with less competitive recruitments and less prestigious chapters of ghi sorority and pledge with the full intent of transferring so that they can affiliate at the prestige university chapter.

it's not so much that it hurts the chapter that the girl wants to affiliate with as it hurts the smaller, less prestigious chapter who just lost a member that they really couldn't afford to lose numbers wise. it might create a problem where the less prestigious chapter has to constantly participate in informal recruitment to replace the transferring members.

transferring students in no way affect the numbers of the chapter they are coming into, except that they raise the membership by "x". a chapter can be 50 members over campus total and they are still allowed to accept transfer sisters.

and as to voting on whether to allow sisters to affiliate or not, i would imagine that most sisters who seek to affiliate and are members in good standing would be invited to do so. i don't think it is right to force a chapter to accept someone anymore that i think that a member who transfers should be forced to affiliate.

[UGAalum94]

I have no doubt that some folks would really go to one campus to pledge and then transfer, but my guess is that the campuses that they would pledge at have that problem generally. They'd lose members to the big state U every year whether the girls did it deliberately or not.

For example, UGA has gotten kind of freakishly hard to get into compared to how it was when I went there. Other than Georgia Tech* and Georgia Southern where people go and plan to stay, most other four year schools in Georgia have a pretty big group of students start one place and go elsewhere.

If anything, it seems to me, having girls who joined a less prestigious group because they planned to transfer would help the chapters on the first campus rather than hurt them because they might attract more girls based on the GLOs overall reputation. (Now if your rate of girls transferring was a lot higher than that of other groups, FSUZeta is obviously completely right, but it doesn't seem to be that big a problem that I know of, but of course every situation is a little different.)

*Tech is equally hard or harder to get into. It always used to be harder, but I think since Tech applicants are more self-screening they don't have to reject as many these days.

And I'm certainly not trying to say that everyone applies to UGA and when they don't get in, they start somewhere else. The majority of kids pick their schools based on where they actually want to be, and there are plenty of good schools. But I suspect the retention rate of students at four years other than Tech, UGA, and Georgia Southern is lower to start with, so the affiliation policies aren't as likely to cripple groups as it might initially seem. Florida may be a whole 'nother story.

[adpiucf]

I know plenty of people who don't get into UF/UCF/FSU on the first go round and transfer "up" after a year or two... others may transfer "down" depending on circumstances (majors, environment, etc).

As for Greek transfers... I can't speak for other chapters, but we got a few petitions each fall and spring.

[LOVEinZTA]

Just a few points to make before I write up some more

[LOVEinZTA]

Getting to know you...

[ZTA72]

oh my goodness, what a wonderful sister you are. My daughters were telling me about some affiliates at their chapter and it just broke my heart what they had to go through.
Thank you for this wonderful thread.
Zeta love,
ZTA72

[Katmandu]

LOVEinZTA, what a delightful story all the way around! You are an amazing young lady, and Zeta is lucky to count you among the crowned. I found your affiliation story as interesting as your rush story.

When I was a collegiate, we had one sister affiliate from another in-state university when she changed majors. It was pretty rare, (the only one in about ten years, I believe) and very low key. She came to dinner twice, chapter twice, we loved her, and voted to affiliate her. I think most of us were shocked that we actually had the option to say "yes" or "no", and I don't think it would have occurred to any of us to deny her active status. She affiliated during her Jr. year and she became one of my very close friends during senior year.

I can't imagine going through such an extended process, but people transfer schools more now than they did back then--witness 11 sisters affiliating in one year!

Thanks for sharing your story. I absolutely loved it and what a wise lesson for anyone who transfers and wishes to affiliate. (lots of lessons for the chapters as well).

[FSUZeta]

you know, i had a similar experience when i moved to tulsa, ok and tried to get involved with the alumnae chapter. i spent a good deal of the meeting sitting by myself while everyone around me visited with each other. most of the members had gone to the same college and actually lived in the chapter house at the same time. i left feeling very dejected and decided not to go back to another meeting.

after a few more years, i decided to give the alumnae chapter one more try, but this time around i decided to "rush" the members instead of waiting for them to come talk to me. it wasn't easy, but it helped me get to know some wonderful women and i ended up serving as president of that alumnae chapter. i also vowed to myself that if a new member showed up, i would make sure that she did not have the same initial experience that i did.

loveinZTA, i am so glad that you too took the more difficult road and did not give up-which would have been the easy thing to do. we can all learn from your experience and make sure our sisters, whether we are ztas, xyzs or abcs, feel welcomed and connected.

[Faith4Keep]

Thank you so much for sharing this. What an important lesson for us to learn... and not just necessarily about affilliates- but ALL new members to our respective chapters. It's so important that we work like a sisterhood, and not several individual groups of friends. Most new members/affiliates are coddled and showered with gifts, but there's always a few (or more than a few) that feel so alone at events and meetings.

I definitely felt that way when I came through, I think moreso because I was a junior and because of that no one wanted me as their little. Pledge period was like a whole second recruitment to determine bigs/littles...so they just didn't talk to me. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I can't wait until recruitment in a few weeks so I can make sure ALL of our new members feel welcome and loved. If we ever get affiliates, I will make sure they feel welcome too!!