Joke of the day..

NinjaPoodle · #1 01-28-2008, 02:24 PM

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting Rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator.” Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted."

honeychile · #2 01-28-2008, 02:28 PM

I love it!

SAEalumnus · #3 01-28-2008, 08:01 PM

LMAO!!!

LucyKKG · #4 10-30-2008, 08:38 PM

How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?

65; 1 to change it and 64 to sing and clap

OR

6; 1 to change it and 5 to make the t-shirts

(I found more offensive jokes on that site, but I thought those were cute.)

LightBulb · #5 10-30-2008, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyKKG

How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?

Holla?

RU OX Alum · #6 10-31-2008, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LightBulb

Holla?

hahaha

RaggedyAnn · #7 10-31-2008, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyKKG

How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?

65; 1 to change it and 64 to sing and clap

OR

6; 1 to change it and 5 to make the t-shirts

(I found more offensive jokes on that site, but I thought those were cute.)

I immediately thought of this very worthy thread:
http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showth...highlight=bulb

LucyKKG · #8 11-03-2008, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LightBulb

Holla?

What?

LaneSig · #9 11-04-2008, 09:11 AM

What kind of animal should you never play poker with?

A cheetah!

Sorry, but I love stupid jokes.

christiangirl · #10 11-04-2008, 11:38 AM

A man walks into a bar.....OUCH. That looked like it hurt!

LaneSig · #11 11-05-2008, 08:58 AM

A priest, a rabbi, and a penguin walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "What is this? A joke?"

honeychile · #12 11-10-2008, 02:04 PM

A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.

The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Have mercy -- I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen.

"Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"

The lady silently reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

LttleMsPrEp · #13 11-10-2008, 06:56 PM

lmao!! nice one..

A guy is visiting his therapist and the therapist asks, "how did the visit with your mother go?"

The guy replies "not well" and the therapist asks "well, what happened?" and the guy says "I had a really bad Freudian slip, I meant to say pass the salt, but instead I said you bitch! you ruined my life!"