Ghetto Wedding Stories

[NUPE4LIFE]

Okay, okay someone had started a topic on weddings. Okay I do not really care about weddings. I HATE THEM! So it really doesn't matter to me who gets invited or anything like that. But have any of you ever been to a ghetto wedding? One of my friends from high school got married last summer, trust me I didn't want to go. Well I ended up going not to hurt her feelings or disappoint her cause for the most part she's been a good friend to me. Well needless to say, it was a ghetto affair. It really wasn't my friend or her family. They are refined college educated folks. When I look at them, I see the Huxtables. But her fiance's family, James and Florida Evans. I've only been to a handful of albums, but I've never seen a wedding that had an MC. The groom's aunt aka "wedding coordinator" had to give us a play by play during the ceremony of what was going on like we didn't know that we were at a wedding. The minister, the grooms uncle could not read the bible. You would think if one were to do public speaking they would practice, NOT! The groom's grandmother made the bridesmaides dresses. Before the wedding another one of my friends (your soror) was like when you see these homemade dresses you're gonna laugh but try not too. Trust me, I was ROTFLMAO. Okay the reception was even more ghetto. They had like regular sunday dinner food. By the time I got to the food service line, it was all gone and this wasn't a big wedding. Oh and the biggest most ghetto part was when the groom's sister, who was a bridesmaid, came to the reception in her Nike sandals. When they did an introduction of the wedding party she was the only bridesmaid who came walking through in her dress and Nike sandals. My friend did not look happy the whole time. It was a ghetto affair to remember. I hate weddings and would rather have a root canal, but on this day I had a lot to laugh at. The ghetto fabulousness of it provided some much needed comic relief. Any of you got any ghetto wedding stories out there?

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KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INC.
SPR 97
XI LAMBDA

[OOHLALA]

Choregraphed entrances...Please elaborate!

[CulturedPearl]

You can call this either ghetto or just plain trifling. How about a wedding where the minister mispronounces the bride's name several times (this is the bride's regular pastor mind you) and then presents the couple to the audience as Mr. and Mrs. so and so before they've even said their vows. My friend and I were convinced the minister had a little something to drink before the ceremony. Overall, the ceremony was simply a hot mess!

[meeks]

i don't know if this would be classified as ghetto, but at my friends wedding two years ago, the minister misprounounced her name and I MEAN BAD! people were like dang....

plus it was soooooo hot in the church. why? whoever was in charge of bringing the key to the control room did not show up!!!

also, during my cousins wedding last year this chicks pager went off in the middle of the ceremony. anyway, thats why at my wedding everyone will be required to turn off all electrical devices as soon as the enter and if something goes off during the ceremony they will be escorted out by the ushers like they stole something.....

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The truly educated never graduate!

[This message has been edited by meeks (edited January 03, 2001).]

[Eclipse]

Originally posted by OOHLALA:
Choregraphed entrances...Please elaborate!

Oohlala,
Picture this:

Bridesmaids walk in doing the classic 'wedding bop' (you know, step, together,step, together , etc). When they are all in the aisle they pause, raise their bouquets and move them in a kinda circular fashion, turn and pose. Then, they take 2 or 3 additional steps where they do it again.
I hope that makes sense. Well, it didn't really make sense in person, but... LOL

It may be one of those 'you gotta be there' moments.

I got another one:
That fake fog that they use at concerts is released before bride walks down the aisle (wasn't there--heard about it). My friend who told me about it said everyone was gagging/coughing and fanning as the bride was walking down the aisle.

DISCLAIMER: Ghettoness is a subjective term. If you have done any of these, participated in any of these with great pride, or dreamed of the day you could do one of these in your wedding, I mean no harm!!

[OOHLALA]

ECLIPSE:SAY IT AIN'T SO, SAY IT AINT SO!!!!!MY FRIEND AND I ARE AT WORKING ROLLING!!!!!(THAT WAS VERY 80'S)THAT PICTURE WAS VERY CLEAR. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE, AND LAWD, I HOPE I NEVER HAVE TO!

[MsAnn]

A friend of mine went to a wedding once where she said everyone there had on mini skirts, tube tops, capri pants,.... and jean sets. She felt really out of place in her pants suit, stockings, and heels.

[ManndingoNUPE]

Dang, so I can't do the derby thing at my wedding?

See that's why when I get married (providing I find a woman that will put up with me), I want to go to the Bahamas or Jamaica and get married. My immediate family, best friend, and my LB's.

This is so that most of my ghetto family can't make it. God knows I luv my people, but I kinda wish some of them would stay home.

Now as far as warning the groom, I have to admit to that. Not during the reception as to put the brother on front street, but my father did let the groom know at a party after the wedding day, that the groom would have to deal with him and the big bald guy (me) if the brother did anything to hurt my cousin. We had our reasons, the brother was a former "pharmaceutical salesman," so we thought that a little warning was in order.

But pops and me aren't ghetto, we just role like that.

MN

[toocute]

Originally posted by Eclipse:
Oohlala,
Picture this:

Bridesmaids walk in doing the classic 'wedding bop' (you know, step, together,step, together , etc). When they are all in the aisle they pause, raise their bouquets and move them in a kinda circular fashion, turn and pose. Then, they take 2 or 3 additional steps where they do it again.
I hope that makes sense

OH MY GOD...I PICTURED IT IN MY HEAD AND STARTED ROLLING!!! You described it perfectly. The wedding I saw the guys were sort of "pimping" in, then struck a pose and the guy pulling up the rear did a "jail pose"

I have to stop reading this stuff at work. I almost choked on my lunch. Woo. The fog while chick is walking down the aisle is too much also.

[WenD08]

okay, these weddings were, to me, ghetto w/o the fabulous:

1. a wedding where the groomsmen all wore jailhouse braids (think Warren Sapp).

2. a wedding where as the preacher is going through the ceremony, the bride's kids are saying, "mommy, mommy, why you wearin' that?", "mommy, i'm hongry!"

3. a wedding where the bride's wore a just-stitched-the-night-before bridal veil (and it showed) and the bridesmaids dresses were finished that week w/uneven hems, the dresses didn't match each other and the shoes didn't match the dress.

4. the bridesmaids and the groomsmen were made to serve the wedding guests. for some reason their were no servers and this wasn't a buffet.

5. this is the kicker: a Princess Diana wedding on a Mother Theresa budget. the bride didn't have enough money to pay for the limo. the driver was dismissed after the ceremony so the bridesmaids had to pile up in a one car to get to the reception. no one know the way. during the reception the bride was seen w/her mother signing the gift checks over to the caterer.

i didn't attend any of these weddings but my girlfriends shared these stories and they just still cause me to wonder about my people!

[Miss. Mocha]

I also hate weddings, but for a different reason. I hate them because the people getting married act like the guest OWE TEHM SOMETHNG.

It use to be an honor to be invited to somebody's wedding. It meant that they wanted you to share in their moment. Now they just want you to put money in their wishing well.

The worse thing I've seen at a wedding, was when the bride was TWO hours late, and nobody made an apology. Everybody in the pews was asking everybody else if they knew what was going on. She didn't even apologize in the stupid Thank - You cards. Plus, the musician had a prior engagement, and the minister (musician's dad), raced through the vows. After waiting two hours, I WAS PISSED!!!!!

The second worse ghetto thing was when I received an invitation to a wedding with no response card. I called up the matron of honor, and told her I didn't get a response card. She said, "oh well, you weren't invited to the reception." I didn't trip... yet. I said, "Okay, they only want me to come to the ceremony (it was a good friend of mine, he was marrying a hoodrat), cool, they're not expecting a gift." The matron of honor (bride's cousin, and my friend) said "oh, they're gonna have the wishing well at the church for the people who weren't invited to the reception."

CAN YOU SAY "TACKY AS HELL, ON A COLD DAY?"

Miss. Mocha

[Eclipse]

Y'all I had to get up and close my office door I was laughing so hard!!

MN: You and your pops aren't ghetto, huh? Yeah right!! Just kidding!! I feel you, my brother. Handle your business, but just not up in the reception, over the PA system, 'kay? LOL

toocute: Not the jail pose!!! I am ROTFLMHO on that one!! Now I must make a confession. My husband's goomsmen were cutting up in some of our pictures and we have one with them doing that!

I have one more that was stopped before it could truly be ghetto for everyone to see. You know how most of us have that 1 branch of the family that you just have to shake your head at? Well, a cousin wanted to have her reception at Ryan's 'cause she figured everyone could just go through the line, pay for themselves then come back to the private dining room for the 'reception.' After me and one of my aunts stopped laughing we informed her that it was not proper and she ended up having a cute little inexpensive reception (with our help).

I'm noticing a trend here...I sure have been to a lot of ghetto weddings!! dang!!

[OOHLALA]

My friend went to a wedding where the groom serendaded(sp?) to his bride as she walked down the aisle (not bad). But he started feelin the moment a little to much when after the minister pronounced them husband and wife, he grabbed the mic and started singing another song ( an old gospel song) the band started playing that fast shoutin music and the whole wedding party started jumpin up and down, shoutin and praising God. The bride almost lost her veil and her boobs. Soon the whole congregation joined them. It lasted about ten minutes, finally the wedding party shouted on down the aisle.

[DELTABRAT]

I am laughing too hard up in here.

Toocute: The jail pose. Is that the one where the man squats down, legs sorta open, with both elbows kinda propped up on his knees and...oh yeah...one hand propped under his chin like a playa?

I went to a wedding where, not only was the wedding and reception in adjacent rooms (see Eclipse's post) and we had to smell Sunday dinner the entire time, but the dinner was served with...you guessed it...WATER ONLY. Dang. I may not have tripped if the water was sparkling, maybe some Evian...and I love water but come on...GHETTO!!!

I have also been to a wedding where the seamstress (for lack of a better word) who was the groom's sister NEVER showed up with the dresses. We waited like two hours and finally they had to go on with outb them (meaning NO bridesmaids). When there were about twenty minutes left she shows up with ONE dress. My friend was HOT about it. That wasn't really ghetto per se, but tragic, unfortunate, and ...okay...ghetto because it is ghetto NOT to make sure things are in order before (way before)the day of the big occasion.

[This message has been edited by DELTABRAT (edited January 03, 2001).]

[chynadall]

Y'all got me rolling over here!!

But, I do remember going to a wedding where the bride requested the pastor (whom I guess she's known all her life) to sing a song after they did their vows. Which I guess wouldn't have been half bad if it wasn't an old B.B. King blues cut. (I can't remember which one). GHETTO!