Help with Conversation and Stereotypes at Rush!

[maddie101]

Hello,

My sorority is in much need of help this recruitment. We are at a private school of about 6,000 students, one of five sororities on campus and approximately 150 girls go through rush every year. My campus does not have houses, so we set up shop in various rooms around campus the girls go to. The other four chapters on campus usually have around 75 or more active members, we currently have 16. We are encountering two downfalls, Conversation and Campus Stereotype that have led us to this point of only getting 3-4 girls to pledge every year, and was hoping for advice from anyone here been through the same situation:

While our sisters are smart, funny, well-rounded, caring, awesome women, our interests seem to vary from those of the incoming freshmen. In the nicest way possible of saying it, the freshmen going through rush are generally the girls at school for parties, not classes. Sure we can talk among ourselves and have plenty of friends, but are dead shy when talking to these girls and know they don't want to talk about the recent Twilight book that came out or how awesome the Olympics Opening Ceremony was. Let's face it, my sisters don't know this season Prada from last season Prada, we don't care if you drive a BMW or a Lexus, and we're not into the guy you met last night. Girls want girls they are similar to: We are on average a size 10, we don't get manicures because our hands work hard, we don't have the guys chasing us. But, we love who we are and are proud of what we stand for. Our strengths are within. The students our campus has accepted these past two years has changed greatly, and our sorority is a dying breed of what was, and has not been able to translate to what is. That is where our campus stereotype hurts us. The other sororities all do fulfill the legally blonde image, party like rockstars with frat guys, and know how to recruite. It is leading others, mostly frat guys, to say negative things about us. Also, the fact that were a sorority of 16 versus 75 makes us unable alot of times to participate in as many events as we'd like, hurting our image more to the other frats and sororities. We've been trying to do everything we can to change their impression of us, and as with the change in girls rushing, it just hasn't been successful yet.

So I ask:

1) Please give all the advice you can on conversation. We literally get in there and don't have a word to say to these girls. Also, motivation ties in with this. We're not marketing people- how do we sell it?

2) How to overcome and get rushees oversee our campus stereotype. We want to be big, varied, and awesome, and we need girls to believe in us enough, even if we're down down, to make us become that.

THANK YOU!

[violetpretty]

I know I've said it a million times and I hate to sound like a broken record, but I would really suggest reading I Heart Recruitment by Coffey and Gendron. It's fantastic.

Do you have pre-recruitment workshops? Ask your chapter (collectively) what they are looking for in new members. Then, for each quality you are seeking, brainstorm questions you could ask potential members to see if they have those qualities.

Also, ask your chapter why you like being XYZs. For each quality you like about XYZ, think what you can say to portray that to potential members. And be specific. Instead of merely listing qualities to potential members, give specific "evidence" of those qualities through events, awards, achievements of members, etc.

I'm assuming that you are in an NPC sorority. Use the national sorority to your advantage! Do you have a consultant visiting you during pre-recruitment week? If not, you should request one because she should be able to help you out. Also, do you have another chapter of your sorority nearby? If so, invite members of their chapter to practice recruitment conversation with your chapter (and maybe even a sisterhood event afterwards).

I'm going to assume that your chapter does do informal recruitment/COB in addition to formal recruitment. It's ok that your chapter doesn't fill total through formal recruitment. Your chapter likely fills a valuable niche among Panhellenic sororities and you just need to be able to look in other places for potential members. Instead of COB "events", it may be best to recruit on an individual level. Your members have friends/acquaintances outside of the sorority. Encourage members to meet and befriend women in their classes, other activities, friends they know on their floor/hall/dorm, etc. and do "normal friend things" with them. Maybe bring another sister along. Once she is friends with several of your members just by doing "normal friend things", and if you and other sisters would like her to become a member, talk to her about joining.

[irishpipes]

If your post is truthful, and the PNMs going through recruitment are almost all the legally blonde type, except for the 3-4 that pledge your sorority, then your problem isn't conversation skills - it's that the PNMs don't mesh with your chapter. It sounds more like you need to encourage more girls who are like the girls in your chapter to go through recruitment, or find them through COR. I mean, improved conversation skills are great, but if your group of friends is truly nothing like the PNMs going through recruitment, then through mutual selection it makes sense that you don't want each other. Either expand your membership base to include some legally blondes, or COR for the kind of girls you want.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

If your post is truthful, and the PNMs going through recruitment are almost all the legally blonde type, except for the 3-4 that pledge your sorority, then your problem isn't conversation skills - it's that the PNMs don't mesh with your chapter. It sounds more like you need to encourage more girls who are like the girls in your chapter to go through recruitment, or find them through COR. I mean, improved conversation skills are great, but if your group of friends is truly nothing like the PNMs going through recruitment, then through mutual selection it makes sense that you don't want each other. Either expand your membership base to include some legally blondes, or COR for the kind of girls you want.

Exactly what I was trying to get across in far fewer words.

[breathesgelatin]

I want to reply at length to this post, but don't have the time right now.

Off the top of my head one thing I am noticing is that you are focusing WAY TOO MUCH on what the other groups are like and what is right with them. Focus on YOU. Do not feel insecure with being you. You speak with a lot of pride about your sorority, but I think underlying some of your remarks is a fundamental insecurity about not having the "legally blond" stereotype...

OK, I'm going to stop for now but I promise to come back and post more.

[KSUViolet06]

This is a good read:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...aller+chapters

I would like to come back and elaborate more, but some key points:

*Focus on YOU. As stated above, you can't concern yourself with telling PNMs how you're different from _______ sorority because they _________ and we don't. That bases your rush strategy on talking about other chapters, and not on promoting yourselves.

*Stop focusing so much on "selling the sorority." You cannot start on recruitment day 1 with selling your sorority. Believe it or not, that can actually turn PNMs off to you guys if the minute they walk in, you're talking up your chapter, philanthropy, events, etc. In the beginning, you need to focus on getting to know the girls as PEOPLE and connect with them on a person-to-person level. Once you've gotten to know them, they can start to see you as people they could see themselves being friends with. When they can see you as that, THEN you can "sell the sorority" to them in the later rounds (like 3rd and pref), but you need to make the indivdual connection before you can pitch them the sorority.

[AOEforme]

Have you tried using the fact that you are smaller to your advantage?

There are girls going through recruitment who are only looking for status. Give them up as a lost cause, because they will never want you nor, if you're being truly honest with yourself, will you ever want them. They are not right for your group.

But there are girls going through formal lookng for a tight-knit sisterhood that they truly mesh with and you have that. (It's a lot easier to get to know 16 girls really, really well than 75.) My sorority intentionally pledges below quota every year because that what distinguishes us from other groups on campus. We look at it as a benefit, not a disadvantage. We look at it as being selective, rather than taking-whatever-we-can-get.

Also push leadership opportunities! It much easier to get involved in a smaller sorority. (Be careful though to not make it sound like "we NEED you to be a leader"...)

It's one of the reasons I declined my bid from XYZ and went for this chapter.

I bet also that if you stop looking at your small size as a disadvantage and a sign that "something is wrong with you" and see it as an asset, your recruitment style will change. The PNMs will notice your confidence and really want to be a member of your close sisterhood.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by maddie101

We are on average a size 10

Did this sentence make anyone else want to stab their eyes out? What the hell are we coming to when size 2 is the norm?

Having come from a chapter a lot like yours (only without such a large size discrepancy w/ the other chapters) I agree about getting women that you are friends with to go through recruitment or give them open bids. However, I will say something that no one has touched on yet:

Make sure it isn't YOU who are stereotyping THE RUSHEES. Make sure YOU aren't underestimating yourselves.

We had some women come through rush who we took one look at or had one conversation with and said "oh, she'll surely go XYZ (the glamor girl sorority)." We were 180 degrees from that, at least in perception. Were we ever surprised when some of those "XYZ sure things" ended up returning to our parties, and torn between us and XYZ. Were we ever surprised when XYZ rushed a certain woman hard (she was a dead ringer for Marilyn Monroe) and she turned them down, saying if she pledged anything, she'd pledge our chapter.

Just because someone walks in looking like Paris Hilton and dressed in designer from head to toe doesn't mean she doesn't know the plot of every Twilight book ever written. A lot of gorgeous girls get to college and are sick of having been pigeonholed into that same shallow role all their lives - for you guys to assume that you'd have nothing in common with them stereotypes them as much as you are being stereotyped.

Get over thinking that you aren't on the same level with these girls just because they're prettier than you. You are just as good as they are.

[TrueBlueKappa]

As the other posters have said: focus on YOU. Play up your strengths. Just because your chapter does not fit the mold of the rest of the chapters on your campus, it doesn't mean that you should think of your chapter as any less worthy or important. Figure out how you're different and cater to the women on your campus who would be a better fit for you. Good luck!

[Lightning Bug!]

Combination of above advice...

In most cases you really do need numbers in order to do better in formal recruitment. That may mean taking in a fairly substantial COB class later in the year. Even if you just get your numbers up in the 30s, that will make a big difference in formal recruitment next year, especially if the girls you take COB have great shining personalities. Sorry it isn't a quick fix, but it will help, and if you can COB right after formal recruitment as well, you can start to get your numbers up sooner. Also involve alums whenever possible...they want to help, and they can provide manpower and cute ideas to make certain that your rush is as spectacular as possible. As for conversation...what everyone else said. You are not every other sorority...you are offering an alternative that may be very desirable to PNMs. Do you have any statistics on how many women drop out of recruitment after the first round? What do you think they might be looking for that they aren't finding at those first parties? And give every woman who goes through recruitment a chance...you may be misinterpreting shyness or fear as snobbery.

Good luck...it is hard to get out of a 'rut' during recruitment, but it is possible if you keep morale up!

[breathesgelatin]

Originally Posted by maddie101

1) Please give all the advice you can on conversation. We literally get in there and don't have a word to say to these girls. Also, motivation ties in with this. We're not marketing people- how do we sell it?

2) How to overcome and get rushees oversee our campus stereotype. We want to be big, varied, and awesome, and we need girls to believe in us enough, even if we're down down, to make us become that.

THANK YOU!

OK, so some of what I say is probably going to repeat what 33girl has already said. She speaks the truth, and she knows that of which she speaks.

On #1: You're selling yourselves short here. By thinking that you have nothing to say to the PNMs, you will never have anything to say to them. Think about the things you have in common - you're all in college, for goodness' sake! I sense that you may feel "superior" to some of the polished girls going through recruitment. Or maybe you feel inadequate to them. You need to get over that! You could easily sell them on the qualities of your chapter and girls. The key is that you want to show them that they COULD join your chapter. Your attitude towards them (you are all looking to party, you are all concerned about which season of Prada is which) is probably coming across to them and turning them off from joining your chapter. So eliminate that attitude and meet these girls as real people!!

On #2: This is much harder than the first one. Girls are going to ask about the stereotype and ask about what kinds of socials and stuff you have if they see that as a potential weakness of your group. First off, you don't want to lie. You want to be honest. If they flat out ask you "Do you have mixers with fraternities" and you don't, don't say you do, and don't just ignore the question and completely change the topic (I have seen people do both). The best you can do is the admittedly lame "Well no, we're working on that and hope to, but in the meantime we have formals and other kinds of socials etc. etc." The other thing you can do is make sure you're expressing what IS uniquely positive about your sorority. For example you don't have mixers, but what do you offer that no other chapter on campus offers? For a girl who's asked you about social or reputational stuff, tell her what your group offers that no one else does.

On another note, I think it's an important to skate a fine line between being yourselves and being unkempt. Just because you're not the Barbie party sorority doesn't mean everyone can't look their absolute best for formal recruitment.

Also agreed with those who've said that a 16 person chapter vs. 75 person chapters is at a tremendous disadvantage in formal recruitment. COB, COB, COB! I know at some schools COB isn't really an option, but try to make it so at your school With 6000 students, you probably have a fair number of awesome unaffiliated women that you could recruit.

[Lightning Bug!]

Have to agree with breathesgelatin...your post does make it sound like you think you are better than 'regular' sorority girls...yet you want to do better in sorority recruitment. Obviously you should not take on girls you do not like, but on the other hand, perhaps you are turning off more 'middle-of-the-road' girls who aren't interested in joining a Legally Blond house but are confused by some vibe of 'we're too real for this' negativity your house is putting out. I may be totally off on this observation, and if I am, then I apologize, but do take some time to think about whether there is a grain of truth in it.

[Kansas City]

My school is similar, just over 6,000 with 6 NPC’s on campus sharing one dormitory. There always seems to be one that “struggles” but as AOEforme said, this is not necessarily a liability.

In agreement with what 33Girl said, make sure that your chapter is not the one stereotyping the PNMs. You might be surprised how many “legally blondes” might be interested in your chapter if you give them the chance. The chapter I advise did an exercise during work weekend where we flashed pictures of women our president met at convention. The chapter was asked to which sorority each of the ladies belonged. At the end, we then said that they were all presidents of our XYZ sorority and that you cannot judge by looks alone, etc.

Use formal recruitment as a warm-up for COB. You can control who shows up to your COB parties a lot more than you can at formal recruitment. For example, if you tend to draw a lot of members from the education department and your sorority wants to continue fostering this image, have current members in the education department specifically target their friends in classes or at other clubs. We all talk about wanting to have a great formal recruitment COB was specifically designed to allow the smaller chapters to bulk up their numbers in a less competitive atmosphere.

As for conversation, you have lots in common with every PNM that steps through that door! You are all women of about the same age, the greatest majority of you are all from the same geographic region, and you are all attending the same university. These similarities are a great starting place. Additionally, have of your members memorize 7-8 open ended questions per day to ask the PNMs. These questions MUST be open ended so that the PNMs have to respond in full sentences. Then, LISTEN!!! Nothing can continue a conversation better than listening to what the other person has to say and responding to them.

As may have said, I think that you need to get over the “poor us” attitude, act your age, and meet some potentially great ladies. Your PNM’s are not size 2 barbie dolls, they are real people that you should spend time getting to know better.

[LionTamer]

Your girls sound like the type who are active in non-Greek campus groups (politics, religion, literary, etc.) Are you "out" in those environments as Greeks, letting the women there know that not all Greeks fit the stereotype, and that even thought they never thought about going Greek, they might think about your group?

[RaggedyAnn]

Originally Posted by maddie101

We are on average a size 10

The average woman in the US is a size 14. I'd say unless you come from a campus with a minority female population, size shouldn't be a problem. I'd make sure your women wear their letters. You may open the eyes of some average women that think all sorority women are a size 2-and if we look at convention photos from different groups, we know that is not the reality for all of our sisterhoods. I agree with everyone who said recruit from the campus. And you never know when people are listening. My third little sister sat behind me in American History. We had just got our house my senior year and I would chat with the group who sat around me about how tired I was because of staying up late eating Ben and Jerry's and talking or watching a TV show as a group, etc. LS3 says to me one day, "Hey, RaggedyAnn, did you know I'm going to go through rush? I was so excited for her and asked where she was rushing (it was informal). She let me know she's rushing ASA. I didn't even realize it, but talking about all the great times we were having got her to rush, pledge and eventually be chapter president...and this gal definitely was not Legally Blonde. She was more of a hippy who went on to the peace corp.