HI!
I've just discovered the KKG area on GC and am super-excited about it. I went to Convention last month and my favorite part was meeting new Kappa sisters from all over. So I'll just take a moment to introduce myself before I throw in my two cents.
Username: KappaKittyCat
Also known as: TetraTitania (on AIM and Yahoo), Andi, or just plain Andrea
Chapter: Zeta Epsilon; Lawrence University; Appleton, WI
Birthday: 7/31/81-- I'm a Leo
Initiated: 12/3/00
Major(s): Currently pursuing a B.A. in history (English minor) and a B.Mus. in choral/general music education
When I grow up I want to be: Pope!
Hometown: Madison, WI
Current Offices: VPS, Marshal
Past Offices: Membership, Scholarship, PR, Philanthropy, Social, Registrar, Panhel Delegate (what can I say... small chapter)
Favorite Clean Kappa Song: "Tirzah's Song" (aka "The Spirit of KKG")
Favorite Rowdy Kappa Song: "Oh, Pat!" (of course!)
Favorite Dirty Kappa Song: "On Top of a Phi Delt"
Okay, here's what I learned about big/little sisses, Key Sisses, and the NMP at Convention:
The only reason they changed the nomenclature was to get away from the supposed "drinking focus" of the big/little relationship. Your "Big Key Sis" is your big sis and your "Little Key Sis" is your little sis. They just wanted to change the name in the hopes that it would make the rest of us forget about alcohol.
Bunches of chapters assign "Heart Sisters," "Sapphire Sisters," "Owl Sisters," "Bid Day Buddies," "Mentors," or whatever you want to call them, for most of the NMP. Big/little matches, what HQ calls "Key Sisters," are assigned via a mutual selection process and revealed before Initiation. We got a huge lecture about it at a workshop at Convention. This practice has been deemed officially naughty by HQ, and we must abide by the NMP of 1998 whether we agree with it or not (and I do have some issues with it). Immediately upon formal pledging, an NM is to be assigned to a Key Sis and a Kore, whose job it is to support the NM's throughout the NMP.
Let me say this again, because it was drilled into me at Convention until I believed it, which I do now. HQ firmly feels that this system is the best way to provide the maximum amount of support for NM's throughout the NMP. It's all about them.
Now, our chapter had certain problems with this. For starters, the other two women's GLOs on campus have a mutual selection process to decide big/little matches, which are revealed just before initiation. The bigs know for a week before the littles, and the bigs take that week to plaster their doors with decorations and build up the suspense. Big Sis Rev night is just like Christmas. The families and bigs shower the littles with gifts. It all seems a little superficial to me, really, and it can and does backfire. [I know of a certain girl in one of these chapters who was unhappy with her "mutually selected" big sis. Her family was small, just her big and her grand, and compared to girls joining the big, six- or seven-woman families, this NM didn't get any stuff at all. Her big was really upset and asked me if I thought she should get the little more stuff to make her feel better. *Shrug* But then, this is the most superficial, shallow group on campus, so what do you expect?]
Another thing I've noted is that the mutual selection process for big/little sisses doesn't necessarily work any better than the seemingly random way that Kappa does it. The above example is case in point. Look at it this way: your best friend is going to be your best friend regardless of whether she's your big/little sis. Our chapter's CCD told me that she and her best friend intentionally did not put each other down on the mutual selection form for big/little sis matches. They figured that they already knew each other and they would be best friends anyway. They wanted to use the big/little relationship to get to know others even more. They were more than a little disappointed when they got matched with each other anyway. A "mutually selected" big sis can be just as great or just as much of a dud as a "randomly selected" one can. Anyway, my point is that sometimes the lack of pomp and circumstance and "stuff" in our system can be a bit of a downer to NM's and actives alike. We spent a lot of time at Convention brainstorming ideas to combat this and make our NMP be the best on campus.
1) Kores only need change once a year, and there's no rule that says they can't be family lines. In my chapter's case, because we are smaller, we lump two lines together into a Kore, but once we grow bigger, we'll change that. This is a good way to keep the lines intact (and alumnae happy) while utilizing the Kore system.
2) Formal Pledging need not occur on Bid Day itself. It can wait until the chapter meeting immediately following Bid Day. With ZE, this gives us two whole days.
3) Maybe this only works because we're smaller and have a smaller Recruitment, but we have fun on Bid Day before the new women show up, arguing and fighting over who gets whom as a little Key Sis. It's really fun to watch girls fight over their "Rush Crushes." In other cases it's one active saying to another, "Oh, I met her, you two would get along great!" The opportunity to get to know a new woman is the focal point of matching.
4) We can tentatively have the Key Sis matches in place for Bid Day, though the new women won't know that there's a method to the madness of who greets whom at the door. Kores can hang out on Bid Day, but they can just be groups for that day, as far as the new women are concerned. Then we can use the time between Bid Day and Formal Pledging to make sure those matches are going to work. If something's horrendously wrong, then a change can be made.
5) The National Director of Membership has approved the use of ceremonies (i.e. ZH's champagne flute overflowing) or games (i.e. puzzles or stringing-- as long as it doesn't leave the building) for revealing Key Sisses and/or Kores. Imagine following your string to a bathroom stall and having not one but five women jump out of it. (How we'd get the five women into the bathroom stall in the first place is beyond me, but you get the point.) We could do Key Sis/Kore Revelation (fun, silly stuff) and move directly into Formal Pledging (beautiful, moving stuff). Think of the potential positive spin on this. "I don't just get one Big Sis, but I get a whole group of women to spoil and take care of me! And I don't have to wait to find out who they are; I get them right away!"
6) At Convention, a NM Chair shared an idea that had worked well with her chapter for making sure the Kores did stuff for the littles for Initiation (i.e. gifts). She uses her budget to get picture frames, candle holders, notepads, white t-shirts, etc., and paints, beads, and glitter. The upperclass women have a day where each Kore decorates stuff for its NM to give to her at Initiation. That way, all NM's are treated equally and they still get "stuff."
7) Another important part of the NMP is the Retreat. It's highly necessary for NM Class bonding (not to mention FUN) and they highly suggest getting off-campus, away from the house/wing/room/whatever. While the NM's are off with the NM Chair doing NM things, it is also a good time for the upperclass women to bond, maybe broken up by class rather than by Kore, and make "stuff" (i.e. door decs) for the NM's.
8) We at ZE also use Kores for things like scholarship programs and teams for competitions and such. Another idea we learned at Convention is to have Kores in an overall competition for each term. They can get points for everything like having members get good grades, hours studied, showing up at events together, or hanging out with each other-- you name it. You could also do a system that would not require the entire Kore to be present. For example, if two girls studied together the Kore would get two points, if four girls had coffee the Kore would get four, etc. Combining everything makes it easier 'cuz you don't have nine separate competitions to keep track of.
Right, then. I should probably stop babbling now. I am just really excited by what I learned at Convention. I'd come in there being very down about our NMP, but this workshop (followed by a long brainstorming session with ZE's President and VPO in the jacuzzi) changed my mind entirely. They made me see how truly flexible the NMP can be and how it provides optimum support for NM's. I just have to add that my NMP was great. My Key Sis and Kore were constantly there for me, checking in to see how I was doing, dropping me silly emails and notes, etc. They made me feel like I was the most important member of Kappa all the time I was an NM. I didn't even get much in the way of physical, tangible "stuff" (in fact I made most of my own door decs), but it was meaningful and loving just the same.
Feel free to drop me an email if you have any questions for me or just want to chat. I'm
tetratitania@yahoo.com, and I'd love to get to know any and all of you.
Lovingly Delsigmata,
Andrea
PS: Greek Geek fun fact of the day: The proper pronunciation of "Kore" is actually "kor-AY." A Kore is a maidservant of Athena. Six Kore statues act as columns supporting the entrance to the temple of Athena at the Parthenon in Athens. The plural of "Kore" is, of course, "Korai."
PPS: I'd like to send a shout out to my lovely ZE sister KappaStarGirl out in SoCal. Hey, Carlie! You rock!
