Ah the ever enduring why don't men listen?

This question has many different facets will I will attempt to broach tactfully and honestly.

1). I first ask this question. And yes I know, you shouldn't answer a question with a question but it will give you some food for thought.

What are you talking about?

Men being animals and more importantly creatures dwelling in their flesh are much more stimulated by physical and visual stimulus. Talking, and more importantly contributing to a conversation, requires injecting bits of personal history, background and sharing of feelings. This is not the average man's forte.

Men need six things inherrently to survive. Six basic things that EACH man needs. Most of the females readers will reject this nugget of wisdom that is being shared, others will concur, while even more will wonder why this or that isn't on the list. It's not open for discussion it's the baseline need of each man accept it as such and you will get one step further. Reject it and you will continue to ponder why men do this or that.

Men are simple creatures needing only four things: Food; Rest; Sex; Entertainment; Nurturing; and Relationship with a Higher Being. Please believe me this may be hard for many of you to understand and even harder for those of you who do understand to accept but it is true. Let me break each one down.

Food: Essential and needed to sustain life. Nuff said I hope.

Rest: Essential and needed to rejuvenate body and restore energy.

Sex: Essential and needed to multiply and be fruitful. More commonly used by men as a means a) to fulfill immediate and gratuitous physical desires or b) to fulfill a misogynistic need to degrade women or c) to express their care or affection for the woman that they are with.

Entertainment: Essential and needed to build personality. Generally speaking it is anything that we enjoy which is not food or rest or sex. This could be anything from sports to cooking to writing to art to sewing.

Nuturing: Essential and needed to establish personal relationships of some sort. This relationship may at times be a one way flow from that man to a woman or from a woman to a man. This allows a man to feel that they are part of a chivalric romance or like a kept man and many degrees between the two. On occasion it can be a two way street and this is when you have a long lasting and enduring relationship.

Relationship with a Higher Being: Essential and needed to feel a sense of purpose in the Cosmos.

Now having said all of that did your conversation fit or blend with any of the things that serve his needs. Now yes that sounds selfish but you asked me a man about why men don't listen. So no I don't now where a woman's need fits in.

Now all of this is contingent upon point Number Two....

2). Who are you talking to?

Take a step back. Ask yourself a few questions.
Is this an intelligent man?
Do you think he really has an interest in what you are saying?
Is he listening to understand you or to pacify you?
When did you try to talk to him, was he focused on something else?
What words did you use?
Was this something truly important to you?
Why is it important that he listen at this moment?
Did you tell him the level of importance this subject had to you?

With men we generally don't have a interest in talking about matters outside of our needs and more importantly urges. That's why a lot of people get a totally different reaction from a man before sex as opposed to after. The "Lion's Syndrome" takes over and our basic need or urge has been fulfilled so our response changes.

Intellect is what men need to help them control their animal urges. This allows us to control our desires and fully participate in a wholesome conversation offering thought provoking responses and input. Intellect is not something guaranteed by a textbook education but through exposure to a wide variety of experiences.

A well rounded man is whom you would want to seek out for a worthwhile conversation. This requires that you encounter a man who is self actualized and a reflective thinker. One who is concerned about how he impacts the world around him.

3). Sometimes we just aren't interested in what it is you are talking about. Intellectual or Not. Everything that you find interesting isn't of interest to us.

4). We've learned your signals. Sometimes y'all talk and other times y'all TALK. We know by your pitch, your body language and word selection when to listen and when to ignore. Everything that you say doesn't always require us to respond but you'd rather we listened to it all. we've just figured out how to tell the difference.

I had more but I'm completely thrown off track by Fantasia on American Idol. She's a nice looking Black Woman.

Hope I've shed some insight. If you have some follow up questions feel free to ask.